"Just an Archer in the Desert"
(Just another Paran-oid)
Maybe Hagar's son had 'issues'...
Unresolved and tightly wound;
Slave-child of The Insurrection...
Young Cho's axe is finally ground.
Just an archer in the desert,
Just another Paran-oid...
Boasting,
Mean,
Self-glorifying...
Hunting men to be destroyed.
Paran's bound'ries?...
Now extended.
Desert-Wisdom, man, is
cool!
New Age Nimrods stalk the classrooms...
Evil's Axe is in our schools.
****
Lord! What caused this thing to happen!?
What made
this one angry so?
What, Lord, prompted this destruction?
Why did this young man, Cho, blow!?
Our professionals are asking...
We need answers right away!
Are we missing something, Father?
Walk us through this Passion Play!
Lord, we know it's speculation,
But we'll leave no stone unturned!
Help us find out what we're missing!
Help us see what made Cho burn....
*****
Maybe pass/fail education?...
Or pollutants in his food?
Maybe lack of intervention...
Maybe Grandma was too rude!
Maybe too much red-meat poison,
Or an extra-twisted gene?
Maybe gaseous indigestion
From too many kidney beans?
Maybe Jerry Falwell caused it,
Over there at Liberty;
Maybe Rio Grande illegals
Prompted this sad killing spree...
Did he skip his medication?
Maybe he forgot his pill!
Gangsta rap?
Or heavy metal?
Maybe too much "Dr. Phil"?
Or, it could have been his doctor
Who was feeling bad one day...?
So, he blew the diagnosis
And let Cho just slip away!
Maybe Oprah caused this problem?
(Though more likely it was FOX!)
Maybe pimples...?
Maybe blackheads?
Maybe childhood chickenpox?
Maybe he was raised too strictly,
With too little room to grow?
Maybe too high expectations
Brought this young man far too low!
Maybe rules and regulations...?
Maybe playmates who would tease?
Maybe it was porn enticement...
Maybe Hokie policies.
Maybe Harris...
Maybe Klebold.
Maybe Rosie with her "Views"?
Maybe Limbaugh made him do it...
Maha-Rushie lit the fuse!
Maybe adolescent pressures
Took their toll on youngster Cho;
Maybe tests and long pop-quizzes
Both combined to make him blow!
Might have been protein imbalance...
Or too much cholesterol;
Too much sugar on his corn flakes?
Or a bully at the mall!
Maybe it was all those movies
That he watched locked in his room...
Slasher-flicks and "Harry Potter"
Turned him into "Doctor Doom".
Maybe Ozone Holes expanding?
Maybe hapless polar bears?
Maybe glaciers fast-retreating
Had young Cho in deep despair!
Maybe aliens imbedded
Small transistors in his head....
SETI-like communicators...
And Cho did just what they said!
Or, perhaps, guns made him do it?
Charlton Heston?
"Girls Gone Wild!" ?
Or maybe he was haunted
By some wet dreams as a child?
Maybe cocaine made him do it...
Maybe weed or PCP;
Maybe hashish in his Twinkies
That were laced with DDT?
Maybe Papa spanked his bottom...
Or, perhaps, the rod was
spared!
Maybe lead-based paint's the culprit
That he ate when he was dared.
Maybe he believed his teachers
When they told him God was dead...
Maybe he just
deconstructed
All those bodies that he bled!
Maybe
Dubya made him do it...
(But I guess Rove only knows!)
Maybe Imus pushed his button
With his "nappy-headed hoes"?
Maybe allergies got to him...
Maybe pollen did him in!
Maybe dust mites in the sofa
Caused psychosis to set in!
Maybe power lines he lived near
Simply scrambled up his brain...
Maybe English class each morning
Placed him under too much strain!
Maybe he reacted badly
To "The Tele-Tubby Show"...
Maybe smokers in the diner
Made him crazy!
Who's to know?
Maybe chemicals within him
Simply misfired
randomly!
Fluke synaptic indiscretions
Triggered this atrocity!
****
You know, these are
all good guesses!
But then on the other hand....
This might just be
Evolution
Working out her random plan.
We can't really make a judgment
Here about what's "good" or "bad"...
Evolution marches onward,
And sometimes it's just.....well....
Sad.
Chances are there
was no reason...
Question Mark
on Nature's Screen;
Just a meaningless occurance
Venting Evolution's Steam.
****
Value Judgments can be tricky
In this land Charles Darwin found.
Fossils prove there's no
real Purpose...
(Dirty Secrets.....underground.)
Placing blame just isn't healthy;
"Guilt" implies a "Right" and "Wrong"...
So, it's just best not to go there...
Deconstruction's Sing-Along.
Goddess Reason says that we're here
To
feel good about our stay!
Reason says guilt's not productive...
Guilt just clutters up the day!
So, be strong, and just
evolve, sir!
Get pumped up so you can sing...
"Praise to Holy Prophet Darwin!"
(Humanism's King of kings!)
We're compelled by outside forces...
Over which we've no control.
Cho was
driven....
Cho reacted,
That fits Evolution's Mold!
Yes, our Evo-Priests have proven,
We're Bi-Pedal Meat Machines...
Accidents of Mother Nature...
Chemo-Bags of Lean 'n' Mean!
So, we preach "Three-Chimp Revival"...
See,..."No Evil's" center-stage!
Hallelujah! Fit Survival!
Monkey Shines for this New Age!
"Free Will's" just not in this picture...
Heresy!
A Truth Assault!
We've been called to preach The Message:
What Cho did was
not his fault!
Meat Machines don't need no "Morals"...
That's just isn't Nature's Way!
Ten Commandments?....To the closet!
Triune Chimps will save the day.
Burn The Book!
Come on!
Get with it!
Scientism's Priests agree!
Strike the match...
And do it
quickly!
Start with Romans Chapter Three.
